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This is a talk I had pitched for a TEDx Event we are having at work. Unfortunately I wasn’t selected, but I wanted to share it anyway in case there is some value to someone out there who is doubting themselves the way I have before.

I want to take you back to when I was 20, fumbling my way through the world of coding.

I was teaching myself web development, piecing things together from the few online tutorials available back then. I used tools like FrontPage 2000 and Dreamweaver… cutting-edge for the time, yet the code they produced was a mess of tangled tables, impossible to edit. So, I signed up for an HTML class, determined to gain some clarity. With my new skills, I built a few websites for friends and family. Admittedly, they weren’t the most functional, but they sparked something in me. For the first time, I thought, Maybe I have what it takes.

Then, I got my first big break. A family friend connected me to a client, the owner of a nonprofit credit consolidation company. He needed a debt calculator on his website, and I was thrilled to take it on. I showed up at his office in my best “church clothes.” He was seated behind a grand desk, wearing a three-piece suit that made me feel small. He told me he needed a form to collect contact information, calculate debts, and show potential savings. Simple enough, I thought. I’d done JavaScript calculators in tutorials, so I confidently promised to deliver in two weeks.

But then I hit a wall.

I had no idea how to submit data to a server or store it in a database. All my sites before were static, with maybe a contact page but nothing that actually processed information. I scoured forums and chatrooms, losing myself in technical jargon that only confused me more. My time ran out, and when I returned to the client, I had to admit I wasn’t finished. He sighed, gave me a disappointed look, and told me to come back when I knew how to submit a form. That was my first experience with impostor syndrome. For a moment, I was convinced that my work was just a crayon drawing on my family’s fridge… meaningless, amateur, destined to be forgotten.

I walked away from coding.

I took a job in mortgage lending, and almost forgot about web development. But then the 2007 housing crisis hit, and I lost my job. With no marketable skills left, I returned to what I knew best: building websites. I learned PHP, experimented with content management systems, and taught myself how to build full applications with CakePHP. With a new set of skills, I contacted that same client again, this time confident I could deliver. He needed a web application for his debt calculator, and this time, I got it done.

That project led to more clients and more complex projects. Soon, I found myself working with healthcare companies, law firms, even medical claims processors. I was taking on challenges I didn’t fully understand, saying “yes” because I was determined to figure it out. But with every project, the impostor monster lurked in the background, reminding me that one mistake might be the moment I was “found out.” My toolkit was still a mix of documentation, trial and error, and determination. I thought, What if they realize I’m just winging it?

Eventually, I realized I needed to deepen my understanding, so I joined a coding bootcamp. For the first time, I encountered data structures and algorithms… concepts I had only heard about. This was the “real” computer science I had never learned. As the most advanced student in my cohort, I graduated early, and with a friend’s recommendation, I landed an interview with Edmunds. I was hired as a front-end engineer, handling advanced JavaScript tasks. And yet, even then, I feared someone would see through my façade. The impostor monster crept in again.

But here’s what I realized along the way: impostor syndrome doesn’t mean we’re failing, it means we’re growing. It’s a sign we’re taking on new challenges. If I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self anything, it would be that each uncomfortable, uncertain step is part of the journey.

So, to anyone here who feels like they don’t belong, like they’re one mistake away from being found out, let me assure you, you’re exactly where you need to be. Embrace the discomfort. It’s not a warning sign to stop; it’s an invitation to keep going, to grow, to learn, to persist. The journey isn’t about proving to others that you belong. It’s about proving it to yourself.

Today, I’m six years into my role at Edmunds as a senior engineer, taking on projects that push the boundaries of our team’s capabilities. My lead trusts me with complex tasks because he knows I’ll figure them out. And that trust, that belief, is something I strive to pass on to others. I’ve been where you are, quietly fighting the impostor monster, doubting my every step. I want you to know that you are not alone.

If there’s one message I hope you’ll take away, it’s this: You are enough, right where you are. Every uncertain step, every unsteady “yes” is a step toward becoming the person you’re meant to be. Our quest is not to be flawless. It’s to face those doubts head-on, to slay the impostor monster, and to keep going.

If I can do it, so can you.